How I do my curly(ish) hair

And make it last for more than one day with a fix that costs just £1.50

Note: This is a bonus post, interesting only to those with curly(ish) hair. If you have straight hair, or no fascination with hair or hair-y products, move along swiftly, happily enjoying your problem hair-free life.

When I was 13 years old, with hormones going haywire, it was perhaps inevitable that my hair would follow suit. Hitherto, it had been dirty blonde and straight to the point of lank. I don’t remember thinking about it much, beyond it either being long-ish or a short bob (which I liked when I was into the whole 1920s look). The most momentous hair event occurred when I was six and a friend’s mother cut me a fringe during a playdate. Rictus grin plastered on my mother’s face, red-hot fury emanating from her every pore, we drove at speed to Knightsbridge. I was placed in front of my grandmother’s dressing-table mirror, the two of them behind me, desperately trying to comb my fringe to the side, and muttering: ‘What can we do about it?’

From the moment my hair turned curly(ish), I think I have probably thought about my hair, generally negatively, most days. Nothing worked. Long, it became straggly, the weight taking out the curls. But short didn’t give me miraculous tight curls, instead more the look of a mushroom with frayed ends. It has never looked glossy, only dry. Fringes – tried again, and again – never worked.

There were moments. Frizz Ease arrived when I was 17, which helped a bit. Not brushing it sometimes worked. I spent most of the Noughties having it blow dried dead straight. I have had some good times with Carmen curlers, diffusers and one particular Babyliss apparatus (which I still use sometimes, even though it only rotates in one direction – I can’t let go of it because they don’t make this particular one anymore). I’ve tried pipe cleaner curlers, hot iron straighteners, big brushes, small brushes, Afro combs and approx. 493 different shampoos, conditioners, serums, waxes, creams and mousse. On top of all this, I’ve punished my locks with various forms of colour, mostly blonde, from platinum to honey. Tried to go natural once, ugh. Tried not washing it for a month (UGH).

A few years ago, the end of the tether having been reached, I went short, and almost immediately the market was flooded with amazing products for curly hair, the Curly Girl Method, etc, and I felt almost CROSS about this. How different might my youth have been if I had had these miracles back then? Recently, I grew my hair back out again, so I could find out if my life might have taken a different turn when I was 23 years old, if I’d had Curlsmith shampoo. And lo! My friends, it would have been different indeed.

My hair, FWIW, is shoulder length, quite fine but there’s a LOT of it (takes me about double the time of a normal blow dry), and the curls are as irregular as my freelance payments. Lovely tight ringletty curls underneath, more wavy than curly round the back, a few decent curls around the frame of my face. Any kind of humidity RUINS my hair. Hard water makes it increasingly dry. (But very soft water makes it fluff like a cloud.)

Anyway, I think I might have cracked it. For now. God knows, something in the water will change, or the weather will turn, or I’ll eat too much iron, or have a banana, and everything will change again but I’ve done the below a few times now and it feels as if it might be…. don’t tempt fate! But MAYBE… this is a reliable method. This is what it looks like on Wash Day:

Here’s my own Curly(ish) Method:

1. Wash hair with a sulfate-free shampoo, and it pretty much has to be specifically for curly hair. I don’t think there’s much in it between the curly hair brands themselves. (Albeit, none of the John Frieda stuff agrees with me.) I like Curlsmith (currently using the Frizz Control Cleanser because it was selling cheap at TK Maxx).

2. Condition hair. I use Any Old Conditioner, and not too much product. But I rub the dollops between my palms and spread as evenly as possible, leaving on for at least two minutes. When I stop being lazy, I’ll use Philip Kingsley Elasticizer as a hair mask once a week (ideally, sleeping in it the night before). It’s pricey but you don’t need much at all and it’s the only one I’ve ever noticed make a tangible difference immediately.

3. When hair is SOPPING wet, ie, still standing in the shower, I put on Only Curls Hydrating Cream (blob the size of a 50 pence piece, if you can remember what those look like) and use ‘praying hands’ to smooth it over all my hair, head tipped upside down. I do a few scrunches.

4. Four pumps of Moroccanoil Beachwave Mousse and scrunch through hair. I’m using this brand because I found it in my drawer. I think most mousses work, the Pantene one is supposed to be good. Give good scrunch with hair upside down.

5. Wrap hair in an OLD T-SHIRT. This is CRUCIAL. Absolutely no towel, not even those special microfibre ones, can go anywhere near your hair. I keep my hair wrapped while I dry off and dress etc, then I use the t-shirt to keep scrunching my hair until it’s no longer dripping. Remember to give the back as much attention as the front (I never do), and you can do this with your head the right way up, parting it where you want etc and scrunching, scrunching until you are SO BORED of scrunching.

5. DO NOT TOUCH. Leave to dry, preferably indoors in wind-free conditions. My absolute ideal is to wash my hair then get in the car for two hours.

6. When curls have formed and dried, I run my fingers through my hair to break the cast.

OK, so this makes them look like this – another pic for encouragement (please ignore the roots which need doing):

The curls tend to look at their absolute best when I’m brushing my teeth for bed and no one will see them. FFS.

Making the curls last overnight is like winning a fiver on a scratchcard. Sometimes it does happen, and it happens just enough to make it feel like there is genuine hope each time you try, but there’s far from any guarantee of when it’s going to happen. Satin pillowcases help a bit. I don’t find the silk bonnets work for me, instead I use an old fashioned hair net, (this one from Boots, Heavyweight Slumber Net), which makes me look like Hilda Ogden.

(Look, I’m telling my husband not to read this Substack, so I can tell you this but the truth is: I put it on after he goes to sleep, and whip it off before he wakes up, because it is so hideous. He knows I fart, he’s seen me throw up, I wear elasticated waists on fat days. But he’s not seeing the Ogden net, OK?)

Now – drum roll! – my new trick, the thing I do that you haven’t read anywhere else is revolutionary, and it only costs £1.50.

You read that right. One pound and fifty pence. Not £15, not £150. ONE pound and half a pound, and yer done.

It’s THIS exact hair brush, which I bought in Tesco, in that weird aisle where they sell books, kitchenware and presents for kids’ birthday parties. I don’t know why they put these brushes there and not with all the hair and nail stuff, but maybe it’s because the buyer knows these are miracle brushes? If you have curly hair, get one, and give one to all your curly haired friends. It’s better than any kind of comb, for reasons I cannot explain. (Anyone with curly hair knows there’s no hairbrush on earth that can do anything for your hair except turn you into a ball of frizz. No, not even Mason Pearson. Especially not, in fact.)

This is the brush. Look!

Has to be the brush facing the camera, on the left

Here’s the proof of the pud. Because below is the above’s hair the next day and straight out of bed (Hilda net off):

The curl situ is not too bad but it’s clearly unbrushed, not for public viewing (and too blonde atm – going to change that)

And this is it after the Magic Brush treatment:

I also squeeze on a pump or two of Sam McKnight’s Happy Endings, but Hersheshon’s Almost Everything Cream also does the job. When I’m out and about and my hair looks a bit frizz, my top tip is to use hand lotion over the ends – just smooth over and scrunch a bit. I made my hair last TWO WHOLE DAYS after wash day, so that’s three days of hair down and looking reasonably OK! That’s the miracle for me. Usually, it’s one nice day, two days scraped back and finally another wash.

That’s it!! Have you got any curly hair tips? LMK! I can’t get enough of this stuff.

If you enjoyed this, please click on the heart and restack (the recycle button) so that I know you did and others can benefit from the miracle brush too.

Jessica xx