Sadness & Gladness
Uncles, parties, plays, exams, lip gloss, trains – a week in full
This was a long and full week, of sadness and gladness.
On Monday, my uncle David died. He was the first of my father’s three brothers to go, and the left-behind trio, once a quartet, feel strange and sad. ‘You’re prepared for the death of your parents,’ said my Dad, ‘but not for a sibling’s.’ David was the second eldest of them, and although his death was an awful shock for his wife and daughter – he fell, while on his daily 10,000 steps – he was spared the long and messy end his dementia diagnosis threatened. So we are glad for him, in a way, and sad for us. He was fiercely intelligent, curious, kind and, as one of his brothers remarked, only ever delighted in other people’s success and happiness, which isn’t something one can say of every person one knows. Once again, I’m reminded that it’s not what you did that everyone remembers, but how you made them feel.
Also on Monday, my son had his last GCSE exam. (God, they went on for a long time, didn’t they? I wasn’t aware of being stressed about them but did that sort of sudden sob when I spoke to him afterwards, and realised I must have been holding my breath for the last few months.) ‘He’ll go from being a boy to a young man when it’s finished,’ said my husband. Which I thought was a bit dramatic. But, lo, four hours later: ‘Mum, can you change my restrictions so I can download the Wetherspoons app?’
On Tuesday was the Substack Fête and given that it has gone from being a nice party in London with a lot of cake, to something that was gaslighting bestsellers and churning up all kinds of fury quicker than you can say Nigel Farage, I think that’s all I’m going to say about that.
Wednesday saw me get the train back up to London to go to the Mayfair Townhouse Hotel and the book launch of wine guru and TV presenter Olly Smith’s debut ‘wine crime’ novel, Death By Noir. I haven’t been to a proper launch for a while, and this was was hot and crowded and fun. I felt a zillion years old because there was a pop star there that the young lot were almost fainting over and I had no idea who he was. (Current musical obsession: Carole King’s Tapestry album, which came out in 1971.) Handsome, though.
I have known Olly since we were at Edinburgh University together and he was going out with the only person I knew there in advance. (The surprise and confusion when I got there and hundreds of people knew each other already because they’d been to the same school or snogged at a Gatecrasher’s Ball.) I remember seeing Olly do a stand-up bit in the first year and singling him out as one to watch. I was right! He’s still as ebullient and funny now as he was then – and married to that girlfriend.
Thursday. Had a meeting at the Royal Academy in the Academician’s Room, which is club house for RA members (artists and non-artists who pay). ‘Hockney’s Balcony’ was pointed out to me: a specially built balcony off the room itself, so that he could have a cigarette without having to go out of the building.
Also had a quick tour around the Summer Exhibition, which I didn’t love this year. Too much, too higgledy-piggledy. But I love the idea of it, of everyone just having a go and getting a chance to be hung on the hallowed walls. Emilia Momen did this wonderful painting of a man on the tube, when she was just 17. It was selected for the Summer Exhibition a few years ago, the Pink Man heard about it and turned up for the opening, and a gallery asked to represent her! Great stuff.
Also, I went to the RA Shop, because I’m a savage who loves the shop of any museum or gallery almost as much as the exhibition itself.
OK. As much.
OK, OK. Sometimes more.
So good for present ideas, with lots of quirky things that one doesn’t seem to see anywhere else. I had already scoured Fortnum & Mason over the road (where I did get a Happy Birthday musical tin, admittedly) but saw lots of lovely things here, like the Mary Fedden Blackbird mug (I yearn for this object – I have a tiny Mary Fedden painting, which is one of my treasures). I bought this for my stepson, because he loves the country but lives in LA – I like to think of him listening to the sounds of a lake first thing in the morning. The feel and look of the thing is very pleasing, too.
Friday was the day for fetching my son from school, with friends, home for roast chicken and celebrating the fact that they had nothing to do. I love hanging out with teenagers – they are a life giving force, with their energy and optimism and cluelessness combined with flashes of astonishing wisdom. The friends gave me a box of chocolates each and argued over which ones I preferred, then after I had had two, scoffed the lot. Ha ha. I had to go up the road to the village hall, for the local school’s PTA ‘pub quiz,’ where I amazingly managed to answer two questions correctly. I admired the hollyhocks that are busting out all over the village – they make me feel as if I’ve arrived at the Land of Oz.
Saturday lunch saw a neighbour’s 90th birthday celebrations (he got the F&M tin), in his beautiful riverside garden, with Morris Dancers doing a display, full bells and handkerchiefs. Afterwards, I was talking to a rather eminent surgeon, when one of the dancers came up and said: ‘Last time I saw you, you had your finger up my bottom.’ Thankfully, this was not addressed to me.
In the evening, I got the train up to London again, to the Irish Cultural Centre in Hammersmith. If you are desperate to get a packet of Tayto’s or Cadbury’s Tiffin, this is the place. I was there to watch my friend Mike Kelly’s astonishing feat of a performance – a one-man play, The Cable, which he wrote and starred in. It’s set against the backdrop of the first transatlantic cable laid between Ireland and America – it’s rich with humour and pathos, as the best Irish stories are.
On Sunday, I flopped.
Ooh, just one other thing: world’s best lip gloss. I love a shiny lip. But this one is nourishing, not sticky, makes natural lips look full and just the right amount of pink. Smells delicious too, properly like grapefruit. From the magic that is Barry M (got to love Barry M!): Lip Oil Pink Grapefruit – cheap and cheerful. £5.99!
ALSO – Sainsbury’s pyjama game continues to amaze. I bought this shorts (with pockets!) and shirt combo, that is good enough to wear outside of the bedroom. Linen, £22. Twenty-two smackers! I could kiss it.
Hope you enjoyed that odd little round up – if you did, let me know with a click on the ol’ heart below – thank you! Have a lovely week, enjoy the last of the heatwave…
Love,
Jess xx
Fabulous pjs, and I’m definitely going to the Irish Cultural Centre when I’m home. I love Cadbury’s Tiffin and Taytos ☘️
Loved reading this. So sorry about your Uncle. Also Sub party tbd further at some point! X X